30 things I've learnt from 5 years being published: no 25 – goodreads and netgalley are the devil's work

Oh Goodreads! Oh Netgalley! What can I say about you that won’t get me blacklisted among the reviewing community?

Nothing probably.

I’ll just have to hope no reviewers read this.

But just in case they are, I want to start by saying a HUGE THANK YOU to all the decent reviewers out there who take their time to read books and leave thoughtful, considered and helpful reviews of books, who search for the positives in each book (IMO, much like people, there is ALWAYS something positive to say about a book), rather than taking gleeful joy in roasting them.

I genuinely think you are all amazing.

I’ve never been a book reviewer - I’m too slow a reader. But I always read reviews of books I’m interested in, and am often blown away by the care and effort people put into reviews.

A good review is truly helpful to the reader.

HOWEVER…

Once you get a book published, the shoe’s on the other foot and let me tell you, it’s going to blister…

Let’s just imagine a scenario: one day you’re feeling a bit too good about yourself.

The writing’s going well, your sales are good, your editor is happy.

Fantastic! And yet, you probably don’t feel quite right.

After all, aren’t authors meant to be miserable all the time?

Don’t panic - I have the solution, people!

Take a trip over to Goodreads - the place where authors’ happiness goes to die - and read the 3 star and below reviews of your books.

There you go. Within a few minutes, you’ll be feeling utterly rubbish about yourself and your writing again.

Equilibrium restored!

Obviously I’m being snarky but I’d love to meet an author who took a trip to Goodreads and came away feeling better about themselves.

All of human life is there.

And all of human life HATES your complex and interesting MC, apparently (even though her male counterpart behaves far worse than she ever did, her only crime being a bit neurotic and anxious in the face of his stonewalling… can I get three cheers for internalised misogyny?!*).

My most favourite bad review of one of my books was just a single word, accompanied by a lonely one-star:

‘Dumb’

At least that one made me laugh.

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What I find so interesting is the judgment.

One reviewer told me that she hoped I didn’t have kids because the way I wrote about parenting was so awful.

Another one said that although they felt bad saying it because I was a debut author (it wasn’t my debut) and they could see I was trying really hard, they mostly found my book boring.

Trying really hard?

Slag off my writing - that’s fine, but patronise me and you truly poke the bear!

Another said one of my books was ‘a disaster’.

Akin to a tsunami people! Steer well clear or it might psychologically damage you forever!

Another said they’d have got more out of my book if it had been written in hieroglyphics.

At least that was an inventive way of crushing a year of my blood, sweat and tears.

I particularly love reviews that warn you to ‘avoid’ a book, as though it might cause you actual physical harm.

And the best thing of all about Goodreads are the comments other reviewers leave on the negative reviews, APOLOGISING to the reviewers that they had a ‘bad experience’ and hoping that ‘things will get better with their next read’.

I’m griping I know, but why finish a book you hate? Why not just give up on it and move on?

Why push through to the end and then write something really mean and scathing about a book that clearly wasn’t right for you?

I’d understand the mean reviews if the reviewer had actually PAID for the book, but most often the reviewers have had free early copies from Netgalley.

I do believe that reviewers are entitled to say what they think, and I absolutely never respond to bad reviews directly.

But I have to say it’s still quite cathartic to have my say here, in my own safe space!

As a fellow author, I’d love to advise you never to look at Netgalley or Goodreads, but I think it’s really tough not to.

Personally, I want to get a general picture of how my book is being received and I do read my reviews. Although increasingly I have realised that the communities on Netgalley and Goodreads are not the same as ‘normal’ readers.

You’ll often find your Amazon reviews are much kinder than the ones on NG and GR. Thank god!

I suspect a lot of Goodreads reviewers are also frustrated writers, and I also totally understand that not every book is for every reader.

So try to take your reviews with a pinch of salt.

Also, there’s a lot of truth in that well-worn but useful advice to search for a book you LOVED and read its one-star reviews to make yourself feel better.

Because every single book has them.

And I reckon you’re not a ‘real author’ until someone has warned another reader to avoid your book.

*apologies, it may be that I’ve taken this particular feedback a little too much to heart 😂

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